Fresh Start

Fresh Start

Have you ever reacted poorly when someone gave you an attitude or was especially rude for what seemed like no reason?

Have you ever brushed someone off because they just weren't your type?

Have you ever been mean to someone who didn't deserve it?

The list could go on and on, well at least for me it could. 

Today I was thinking about my past-based on the sermon in church today, I was thinking back.

I regret so many ways things I did when I was younger.

Just because I wasn't necessarily "popular" throughout high school and I kind of secluded myself in college, well until John-doesn't give me any excuse to have had the attitude I did for all those years.

Throughout my journey and especially my time in West Virginia, I have worked on my personal, spiritual and physical development. This has taught me more than I would have ever imagined. 

I always wondered why I wasn't one to have many friends and I made so many excuses for the reason,  told myself it did not matter.

The truth is-it DID matter, because the reason was ME! My ATTITUDE! 

Now, I don't want you to think this is a "pity" call, because that is not the reason I am writing this. I am writing this to help paint the picture of a fresh start, a new beginning, a reason to be a new person.

My reason is Jesus Christ. He has a dream for not only my life, but everyone's life. I have changed my attitude and my reactions to others, I have limited my judgement-(Yes I said limited, because I am not perfect and I refuse to admit that I can go through my life without ever having one poor reaction or bad attitude or a single judgement). The difference now is the fact that I am conscious of where I need to make a change. I do not just go through my days as if I am going through the motions-I consciously think. And yes I often say "ahh you did it again, you should have bit your tongue" but I am a work in progress. I have traded my dreams, for HIS! You don't have to be perfect, you don't even have to be close.I know I have a long way to go.

So instead of looking back in my past thinking "gosh why would I have done that or reacted like that?" Because that one change anything-what will change is how I start acting now. That is why I called this "Fresh Start" because everyday is a fresh start in correcting my attitude. Today I have committed to having a different attitude, more positive outlook, less judgmental thoughts and more thoughtful reactions.

I cannot go back and apologize to all those I have hurt or lost because of my past, but I can change it now. That is everyday decision.

One note that I cannot leave out-and would not want to, is an apology that is overdo and should be extended to more than those who I can get it to. I apologize to everyone who I ever was rude to, mean to or short with. I am so very sorry for any judgmental comment or thought I have ever had or made. I know this is not quite the apology everyone deserves, but please know this comes from the bottom of my heart and I truly mean it.